Harry Potter: Insane and Psychotic
by Wings of Jade
Summary: OMG! Ginny is killing Hermione because she wants Draco? Lord Voldemort suddenly turns incredibly stupid? Viktor and Fleur and Snape don't get any credit? I can't believe I wrote such a crazy and senseless fic...


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Author's Note: Hello! Kon'nichi-wa! Ni-hao! Bonjour! Ola! Aloha! Whatever language you speak, HELLOOOOOOOOOO! *jumps around and does a little dance* yup, yup, I'm hype right now—VERY HYPE! *turns the country upside down*

Maybe that's why I decided to write this fic…*grabs a pogo stick and starts hopping around frantically* It's silly, it's stupid, it's EVERYTHING TURNED DUMB! *laughs maniacally* Okee…I'll calm down slightly…I guess I'm scaring all my readers away. XD

I should do something else to make use of time while you read my stupid, dumb, silly, absurd, senseless, yadda, yadda, and yadda story. Hmm…*grabs a bar of Hershey chocolate* Yum…white with chocolate chips…*drool* Okay, I guess this is long enough…*stuffs chocolate into mouth* BTW, the couples are Ginny/Hermione/Draco, and sorta Ron/Harry. 

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Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter…lalalala… 

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Harry Potter: Insane and Psychotic

By: Wings of Jade

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~Summer Vacation, The Burrow~

Harry: OMG! Ron! There's someone behind you! _Look round_!

Ron: Yeah…probably Fred…

Harry: No! Ron! _Lord Voldemort is right behind you_!

**Lord Voldemort appears out of nowhere**

Ron: *turns around* YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! HOW DID HE GET HERE?

Lord Voldemort: No need to yell, I got here by bus.

Harry: Bus?

Lord Voldemort: Well, anyway, that's unimportant. *clears throat* MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! At last, my chance to kill Ronald Weasley!

Ron: Wait a second—you're after _me_?

Lord Voldemort: *shrugs* Why not?

Harry: You're supposed to be after _me_!

Lord Voldemort: *scratches bald white head* I am? Why?

Harry: Because Professor Trelawney said that I'm the one who has the power to vanquish you!

Lord Voldemort: Yeah? So? [Lord Voldemort's thoughts:]** What does 'vanquish' mean?**

Harry [whispering to Ron]: Lord Voldemort can't be this dumb!

Ron [muttering back]: Maybe he is…this is, after all, Harry Potter turned upside down…

Lord Voldemort: *grumbling* Look, when am I going to kill you?

Ron: Look, Lord V, you're supposed to be after HARRY, because he can DESTROY you, as in KILL you, and you can kill him RIGHT NOW, so there's no point in killing me.

Lord Voldemort: *scratches bald white head again* Know what? You're right! AVADA KEDAVRA!

**flash of green light**

**Harry drops dead to the ground**

Ron: HEY! I didn't mean for you to kill Harry right on the spot!

Lord Voldemort: You just told me to kill him!

Ron: *cries over Harry's dead body*

Lord Voldemort: *grumble* Fine. I don't know why you told me to kill him in the first place if you're crying your eyes out over him. *waves wand*

**big flash of light**

**Harry rises from the ground like a dead zombie**

**Harry shakes his head and turns back to normal**

Ron: HARRY! YOU'RE BACK TO LIFE! *squeals like a girl*

Harry: Yeah…

Ron: Wait a minute—how did that happen?

Harry: I don't know…hey, where's Voldemort?

**Voldemort is zooming crazily around in the air**

Lord Voldemort: Cool! This is just like magic! WHEEEEEE! *zooms around some more*

Ron: *points* OMG! He's flying away!

Lord Voldemort: *waves* Hope you're happy now! I'm off to ballet class! *waves wand*

**POOF**

Ron: Look! He's wearing one of those pink tutus!

Harry: *scratches great big mass of black hair* Ballet class?

Ron: *shrugs* Who cares? YOU'RE ALIVE! *kisses Harry*

Harry: YUCK! *spits* THIS IS JUST COMPLETELY INSANE!

Ron: *sighs* Ah well…what do you expect?

***END OF HARRY, RON, AND VOLDEMORT STORY***

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~Hogwarts, School Year~

Draco: *frolicks around in frilly white tutu and singing* What lovely, lovely, sunshine! *Teletubbies theme song comes on* OH YEAH!

**Draco boogies to Teletubbies theme song**

Ginny: Huh? What happened to Draco?

Hermione: Who cares? *runs up to Draco* ##SMOOCH##

Draco: *jumps around insanely* YES! THE MUDBLOOD KISSED ME!

Ginny: *turns red and gets outrageously jealous* HERMIONE!

Hermione: What? What did I do wrong? *hugglez Draco*

Ginny[screaming her head off]: _THAT'S_ WHAT YOU'RE DOING WRONG, HERMIONE GRANGER! *rushes over to Hermione and strangles her*

Hermione: *choke* *gasp* *gag*

Ginny[still screaming her head off]: YOU-LISTEN-NOW-YOU-BITCH-DRACO-IS-MINE-SO-KEEP-YOUR-HANDS-AND-LIPS-OFF-OF-HIM! *throttles Hermione*

**Hermione flops unconsciously to the ground**

Ginny[turning sweetly to Draco]: Come on, Draco, let's get married and run away!

Draco: *stares at Hermione's unconscious form* YOU KILLED HER! YOU KILLED HER!

Ginny: *blinks* DRACO! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO LIKE _ME_ BETTER, NOT HER! SHE'S A FILTHY LITTLE MUDBLOOD! _I'M_ A WEASLEY AND A _PUREBLOOD_, YOU IDIOT! KISS ME! *smooches Draco*

Draco[screaming _his_ head off]: HOW DARE YOU KISS ME AFTER KILLING MY HERMIONE! *kneels down at Hermione's body* *sob* Oh, my Hermione…

Ginny[REALLY ANGRILY]: WHAT'S SO FRIGGIN' GOOD ABOUT HERMIONE? *steam gushes out of ears*

Draco: *shrugs* Uh…she's hot?

Ginny: *looks down at Hermione in distaste* SHE IS _SO_ UGLY! *gets REALLY, REALLY, REALLY, **_MAD_***

Draco: *still sobbing* Oh, Hermione…

Ginny: *pulls out tufts of orange hair* FOR GOD'S FRIGGIN' SAKE! STOP RANTING ON ABOUT HERMIONE ALREADY! *takes knife and stabs Hermione*

**Both Draco and Ginny stare at Hermione's **dead** form**

Draco: *stares some more at Hermione's **dead** body*

Ginny: Uh…Draco…

Draco: *lip trembles* WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! YOU'VE REALLY KILLED HER THIS TIME! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Ginny[screaming]: Shut up, _shut up_, _SHUT UP_!

**Ginny takes knife and stabs Draco as well**

**Only Ginny is left staring at Draco _and_ Hermione's **dead bodies****

Ginny: *gasp* WHAT HAVE I DONE? *faints*

**Wings of Jade comes hurrying and pours water onto Ginny's face**

**Wings of Jade runs back to continue script**

**Ginny wakes up**

Ginny: *sob* Boohoo! I can't believe I killed Draco and Hermione! Boohoo!

**Ginny takes knife and stabs herself in the heart**

**Ginny flops **dead** to the ground, beside Draco and Hermione**

**Only Wings of Jade is left to stare at **three dead bodies of Draco, Hermione, and Ginny****

Wings of Jade: *clears throat* So…uh…the Draco-Hermione-Ginny love…er…*counts sides* triangle is solved by Ginny killing Hermione, her dear precious Draco, and finally, herself. *bows*

***END OF DRACO, HERMIONE, AND GINNY LOVE TRIANGLE TRAGEDY***

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~Somewhere in Nowhere~

Fleur Delacour: Hey! *throws back long sheet of Veela hair* What about us! We want a part in ze story as well!

Viktor Krum: Yes! Ve vant to do something too!

Wings of Jade[snootily]: What about Dumbledore and McGonagall and Snape and the rest of the characters? I don't hear _them_ complaining!

Every other character in Harry Potter: That's because we don't like taking part in stuff like this!

Snape: Except me!

Wings of Jade: Oh, alright!

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~Imaginary Story Setting~

**Once upon a time there were three people named Fleur Delacour, Viktor Krum, and Severus Snape. They lived their own boring little vain lives and lived happily ever after**

***END OF FLEUR, VIKTOR, AND SNAPE STORY***

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Well, what do you think? REVIEW!


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